Thoughts on the Death of a Friend from David Harris

Prologue: I'm not exactly sure what to call this... essay? report? I guess just thoughts. I needed to write them down so they would't be forgotten, thanks for reading.

Hi. My name is David Harris and I’m a college student at Dutchess Community College, and soon to be missionary. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. Two years ago I lost a friend. His name was Daniel Mari, and he died at the age of 17. I was 16 then, we were several months apart in age. I’ve been thinking about him a lot this week because today is the anniversary of his death. Let me start by telling you his story, and then I’ll tell you what effect his life has had on mine. Danny was born in June of 1991- 4 months before me. He had two loving parents- Tony and Sharon. He also had two brothers- Anthony and Johnny. He also had a wealth of friends- many from school and many from the church his family attended. That’s where I first met Danny. I lived in the house next to the church, my father being the pastor. Danny and I became friends so long ago, I don’t remember how old I was, and all I remember are the kind of things we used to do. His mother would often clean the church, and help my mother clean our house (she had injured her back when she was a nurse). Danny and his brothers would often come over during these times. (I have two brothers who were the same ages as Danny’s brothers). We could often be found on the 7-acre plot my family and I lived on playing with toy guns or building forts. As we grew up we had a lot in common- AWANA, Boy Scouts, sports, etc. When I was 10 years old Danny and I both went to a Christian camp during the summer of 2002. We both had a very hard time at that camp. I was extremely homesick and cried most of the time I was there. Danny got picked on by some of our other friends and other campers there. I left two days after arriving due to illness, but Danny stayed the whole week. We were both often picked on in Boy Scouts as well, but we had a decent time until our troop folded in 2005. After that I didn’t see Danny anymore. His family stopped coming to our church and I had other friends, so I didn’t reach out to Danny like I could’ve. I didn’t see Danny for almost a year from 2005-2006, but then in the middle of 2006 we got a phone call. Danny had leukemia. I didn’t see him for a long time over that year, but heard updates often when my parents would talk about his situation. During the summer of 2007, things didn’t look very good for Danny. I went to visit him in July of 2007 with some mutual friends at the hospital where he was to receive a bone marrow transplant. We visited him for about an hour and talked about our days in Boy Scouts and such. He was extremely positive and said that he was glad he was going through all this now and not later in his life. We left and I didn’t see him again for months. I saw him in December of ‘07 at a event for my church youth group at a bowling alley. I said hello, but we never got past formalities really. Once again, it was a while before I saw him again. He may have been once or twice that he came to church over the next few months, but even if he did I probably didn’t even say hi. Then my house received another call one day during the summer of 2008. The bone marrow transplant had infected Danny- it was unsuccessful. My parents and I drove down to the hospital in New York City to see him in August. It looked grim for Danny. We didn’t know if he’d make it through the day. We spent what seemed like an eternity waiting to go in while the nurses and doctor attended to him. Finally, we went into his room. Danny was reclined on hospital bed with what seemed like a hundred tubes and needles connected to his body. He couldn’t talk either. A pipe was attached to his esophagus helping him breath so that he could not talk unless it was capped. The nurses left the room and we talked to him. He started crying at first sight of seeing us. I’m really not sure if it was because he was happy to see us, or upset because he didn’t have the ability to give us a hug or even effectively talk to us. I’ll remember the way his eyes looked that day until the day I die. It was clear to me that this was a young man terrified of dying. He capped his breathing pipe back in so he could breath better. My father talked to him for about a half hour about being sure of his salvation. I quietly listened until it was time for the doctor to come in and check on him again. I waited for another hour or so while my parents talked to his mother. We saw him one last time before we left that night. He was extremely upset- even hitting his bed with anger because of his setbacks. My dad talked to him a little more about spiritual things, and he sobbed. He waved goodbye to us. The doctor told us he was doing better and that his best chance was to keep his fighting spirit. I left totally believing he would be ok, but I knew seeing a peer in that condition had changed me. One month later Danny’s condition was still declining, so my friend and I with my parents and younger brother made the trip to NYC to see him. This time he was laying on the bed asleep. We were told the drugs made him come in and out of conciseness. Eventually he came around and saw us. He couldn’t really speak, but he mouthed out our names as he saw us. My father talked to him about spiritual things for a while longer, but this time instead of the fear he had demonstrated during the previous visit, he looked up us and smiled the biggest smile. It was then I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was looking down at a fellow brother in Christ. There was no trace of that fear I had seen previously. I knew then that no matter what happened to Danny- whether he lived or died he would be ok. Danny died October 21st. The wake was held three days later on my birthday. It broke my heart to see so many people there with no hope at all for Danny. I wanted to shout, “Don’t you know where Danny is! He’s the happiest he’s ever been!”. The funeral was the next day and it was much the same. I sensed a hopelessness in the hearts of many of the attendees. I wasn’t hopeless. I knew where Danny was. Now I’ve just told that story to introduce you to how Danny’s silent testimony has changed my life. My life moved on. I started college,and became more and more immersed in my every day wind and grind, but rarely a day went by that I didn’t think of Danny (as I still do today). Gradually I thought more and more deeply about Danny’s short life. He didn’t get the chance to attend school, work an occupation, or get married- the three things that my peers are most focused on. Danny’s life has taught me so much about my own life! Whenever I remember him I remember what’s truly important in life. Whether I am “successful” in college, work, or relationships is really irrelevant to the true purpose of my life. His short life has inspired me to travel to South Africa on missions, lead a Christian group on my college campus, and given me courage to face sin in my own life. Danny couldn’t really talk at the end of his life, but if he had been able to, I think I might know what he might have said. He would asked why his peers are so distracted by the things of this world and refuse to dwell on the important things in life. So I challenge you: what is distracting you? What is holding you back from living the life that God would will you to live? Is it your social standing? Your academic goals? Sports? Your girlfriend, boyfriend, or pursuit of such? Luke 12 talks about a man who spent his life in the pursuit of building up earthly treasures. What did God call this man? A fool! He had spent his life pursuing things that had no eternal bearing and his life was required of him. What about you? Young man? Young woman? Your very lives may be required of you in an instant, let along two years of Leukemia. You may not the chance to prepare as Danny did. I don’t know why Danny was taken at the prime of his life. I don’t try to pretend that what happened wasn’t a tragedy, and he won’t be missed immensely. However, I know the Bible says that God works all things together for good to those who believe on His name. Maybe God saved Danny by taking him home, I don’t, nor can I ever know, but I trust in God and HIS purposes instead of man’s uncertainty. My hope is that if you are reading this and you don’t know where you would end up if your life was required of you this day, that you would know! Danny knew that if he confessed Jesus as Lord and believed in his heart that God raised him from the dead, he would be saved (Romans 10). Also, if you do know where you would go, but are distracted by the things of this world, that you would throw those distractions off, and live your life as if it was worthless except for what God would will for your life. I thank God for allowing me to know Danny Mari.